Burning the candle...

We got home from vacation what seems like ages ago (two weeks Thursday). We unloaded the truck and A went to bed by 6pm so he could jump right back into a series of "triple doubles" (double shifts three nights in a row) that night at midnight. I went back to unofficial work at 9pm that night mentoring a colleague through a difficult situation and then back to "real" work the next day with one of the worst weekends on call that I've had in my 2.75 years of working there. By Sunday vacation was a distant memory and we were both ready for another one... but we just had Monday in store for us. Is it worth it?

The working isn't so bad. You just get in a groove and do what you've got to do. The hard part is realizing that two weeks later, A and I just sat down for only the third meal that we have shared together since vacation... and now he's in bed so he can go in for his third double this week. Is it worth it?

We have dreams. Big dreams. Farm in Maine. Summers in Alaska. Convertible Mustang. World travel. The lottery doesn't seem to be cooperating and although I've been courting Publisher's Clearinghouse for the past two years, it doesn't seem like a viable means to our end (but I'll keep at it!).

So... in 11 years when A retires and our dreams become reality because we've worked hard to be debt-free and live our lives together in financial bounty, it will be worth it. At the moment... with the lonely dogs circling my ankles and a serious lack of cuddle time with my sweet husband as of late... "worth it" just seems like a mirage.

My summer job is almost over. I just got a raise at one job (the job I was planning to quit sooner than later and now it will be very hard to just walk away). I just got a BIG raise at another very part-time job. I'm in line to most likely pick up another part-time job that pays quite well which will give me the breathing room to shift some work commitments and possibly make life a little more manageable on my end. As for A's schedule... we never know when the over-time will kick in (like now) or dry out. When it dries up, those base pay checks can feel very very lean so it behooves us to work like mad while we can.

Is it worth it? It damned well better be!