In the wake of the tragic deaths of 20 children ages 6-7 and 6 teachers and staff at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14th, 2012, there has been a huge swell of "acts of kindness". I think it's wonderful... and hope that it doesn't only last for the next week or two - this world needs more kindness. We can argue about gun control, mental health, and nature vs. nurture but nobody can argue the point that this world needs more kindness.
I was telling my mother that I can't shake the grief and she suggested helping others. I already do that twice a week during this season by volunteering at the Salvation Army but it wasn't enough. To combat the gloom in my heart, I have joined the "acts of kindness" bandwagon. I just carried out my first act and I'm so happy that I did it. I sent a Christmas basket to an old fella that I talk to 2-3 times per day for work because he's so very lonely. Sometimes he cries. I want to go meet him but I'm not allowed to do that. Earlier today I spent about 20 minutes at my computer trying to decide if I should do it... I could lose my job if someone found out. I walked away without placing the order and went back to my painting project.
As I was brightening the guest room with a coat of "Coastal Mist" blue, I was thinking about him. I'm not working at that job this week... I'm not actually working that job again for a few weeks. I will miss talking to him but I think he will miss talking to me more. There are others that talk to him but he seems to like me because I'm interested in him, his cat, his day etc.
While elbow deep in the paint bucket I realized two things: 1) Who could, with a clear conscience, punish me for an act of kindness toward an old man completely alone in this world? 2) Except for these few personal connections, I don't like that job anyway and if I get fired over this, it will be totally worthwhile.
I washed my hands and came back to the computer, placed the order, wrote a note about 26 anonymous acts of kindness, and that I hope this brings him some holiday joy. Before I could change my mind, I finalized the purchase. It will arrive on Christmas Eve day. I'm happy I did it... even if it comes with consequences.
Several months ago I had another "old guy" that I used to let talk when he was lonely. I would be driving somewhere and I'd let him just prattle on about his wife, his children, his career - I actually found him fascinating when most everyone else considered him to be a grouch. He wanted me to come to his home and meet him in person. I asked permission and was told no. He died a few weeks later and every time I think of him, I heavy-heartedly regret not breaking that rule and meeting him. What true harm could it have done? The man invited me as a guest to his home (and I have a background check on file to boot!)!
Back to the acts of kindness - I don't feel like ALL acts of kindness need to be anonymous. I actually think it's good to look someone in the eye and do something nice for them. Perhaps then they will be more compelled to pay it forward.
My husband and I carry out acts of kindness throughout the year - each year for Christmas we select a boy and a girl from the "Giving Tree" and donate all of their gifts, we buy boxes of food for the food pantry and drop it in the box before we even leave the grocery store, we always tack a few bucks on at PetSmart for "rescued pets", we donate clothing and items to local charities instead of tossing them or selling them... but when I mention these things in passing (my four readers already know we do these things so no recognition-seeking here), I get comments like "You are amazing!" but I'm not. We were taught how to be kind. We were taught when to be kind. We were taught that kindness matters. The world needs to re-learn how to be kind even when the darkness of events like September 11th, 2001, Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Sandy, or massacres of innocent people isn't in the immediate rear view.
As for 26 acts vs. 27 acts... not to mention 28 acts of kindness with regard to the Sandy Hook Elementary School victims, I am a bit torn. 26 is a no-brainer. I will ABSOLUTELY honor the memory of the children, teachers, and staff.
#27 - the shooter's mother (I refuse to use his name) - is harder. Although she CERTAINLY did not deserve to die in such a brutal, cold way at the hands of her own child, as a fellow gun owner, I hold her responsible to a degree for allowing access to her guns... much less access to a son that she had told friends more than once was "getting out of control" or that she would "need help soon" with him. As gun owners, our guns are not and NEVER will be accessible to anyone that a) Isn't licensed b) Isn't responsible c) Isn't appropriate to handle them.
And as for #28 - the shooter. The obvious objection is acknowledging him at all. However, part of me thinks that an act of kindness in memory of him would add more light to the world to counteract a wink of the darkness that he cast. I haven't decided yet. But I will.
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