Impressions.

One of the most influential pieces of advice ever given to me that has stuck with me through the years came from a supervisor many, many years ago. He was a little Irish guy who, had he been about 40 years younger, un-married, and without a pack of grand-kids, I'd probably have married for his delivery of good, bad or indifferent news alone. Each day, regardless of what was happening in the office, he popped into my office to check in with me and always treated me to a joke or funny story. He taught me everything I needed to know about my job with patience and good humor. He even took me seriously when I expressed interest in taking over the duties of an ineffective person in a role that I only had a feeling I could fill... no actual experience. I don't know for sure but I think that part of the reason I ended up with that promotion was because of how I accepted the conversation described below.

During my tenure with this organization, I had broken my ankle and had multiple surgeries resulting in several months in and out of the office, occasionally working from home when possible, but more than a bit disconnected from the daily happenings for quite some time. When I returned to work full-time, it took me a while to get back in the groove. One day he took me aside and asked me if I still enjoyed my job. I said, "Yes." (I didn't love it but I did enjoy it - particularly because of his leadership.) He then told me that I no longer was giving the impression that I enjoyed my job. Before I could formulate a response, he told me that regardless of what was really going on, it IS important to understand the impression that you are given people whether it is in a professional or personal setting.

That advice was too profound to respond to at the moment and I gracefully let him close the conversation with a few words about be given this feedback so that I could have the opportunity to change the impression that I was giving.

I understood exactly what he meant and carefully considered everything about myself that might be giving that impression. A few weeks later he pulled me aside again and told me that his impression had changed and he was very happy with how I had received and implemented his feedback.

Since then I have often considered the impression that I am giving people in a variety of situations. I realize that life is full of impressions - First impressions. Good impressions. Bad impressions. Only impressions. Lasting impressions. False impressions. Last impressions.

Recently I have been having the "Impression Discussion" (something that I've worked on with several of my supervisees over the years) with someone that desperately needs to understand the impressions he is giving in a variety of situations. Well, in this case it's really turned into more of a monologue than a discussion. I have reached the point where I can only hope that at some point he will realize that every action, inaction, decision, and indecision gives the people in his life an impression about him and right now, they aren't good.

I've received plenty of feedback - some good, some helpful, some not-so-good, some not helpful whatsoever - over the years and have found that receiving, sorting through, and implementing relevant feedback is essential to growth. It's certainly helped me to develop in many ways and I am grateful for it - even the tough stuff that was hard to swallow at the time.